3.28.2007

11:45

new battery!.
C:
heee.

--------
{beautiful lady}

11:33

i want these.
buy for me please.
whaou!

--------
{beautiful lady}

00:38

cried.
again.
because.
of some stuff.
being too busy sometimes really prevents me from breathing properly.
sometimes i can't possibly think why am i joining so many stuff.
is it to avoid home?
is it to avoid them?
is it to make myself busy.
so that i won't think so much.
and then i won't look so emo everytime someone meets me.
cause.
all these stuff take up so much of my time.
it prevents me from thinking of stuff i don't wanna hear.
it makes me feel good.

--------
{beautiful lady}

3.27.2007

23:55

fell (again) while taking pictures (again) today.
and now my neck's swollen.
):
hope it heals before camp.

--------
{beautiful lady}

00:31

i want to be free.
seem so busy now.
like.
i want to go out with sports camp people.
and i don't want to go for training.
it's stressing me out.
all these for 90 bucks.
i rather give it up.
give it all up.
to gain some freedom.
i'm like so slow.
bet it will take more then another 3 months to get my black.
maybe one whole year.
that will be like 120 in fees.
and 100 for grading.
that's like so much more then the amount he's gonna return me.
damn.
how?
no courage to go against him.
how?
but i can't stand this pressure.
it's breaking me apart.
tearing me.
emo-ed.

--------
{beautiful lady}

00:15

aloy.

jieping. me. sherlyn. ginni.

me. jieping. sherlyn background. haha.

ahka!!

--------
{beautiful lady}

00:13

3 foc. i sports camp.

slackers.

ugly!

--------
{beautiful lady}

3.26.2007

23:47

girls.
yanyi missing.

--------
{beautiful lady}

21:59

this is so like me.

--------
{beautiful lady}

21:58

i wish i knew a hitman.
so i can hire him to kill me.

--------
{beautiful lady}

21:30

strain-ed neck.

--------
{beautiful lady}

00:40

the amount i spend on cab a month.
is enough to pay a cabbie his cab rentals and petrol for a day.
damn.
i'm using so much money!.
on cab.
per month.
that explains where all my money goes to.

--------
{beautiful lady}

00:09

13 days.
and counting.

--------
{beautiful lady}

3.25.2007

21:49

been unwell for 12 continuous days.
damn.
sports camp is coming.
i can't let it bring me down.
this is so frustrating!.

--------
{beautiful lady}

10:14

unwell.

--------
{beautiful lady}

3.24.2007

01:55

was ransacking my closet just now for jeans.
and i found a pair of jeans that i bought a few months back.
hahhaa.
how forgetful can i get.
or else.
it would be left in that corner.
and never be used.
how stm-ed can i get?

--------
{beautiful lady}

3.23.2007

23:12

searching for the warmth in my heart.
it's so cold inside.

--------
{beautiful lady}

23:05

where is the light?

--------
{beautiful lady}

3.22.2007

16:27

sports camp coming.
don't know whether it will be as fun as last year.
what if people don't like it.
and book out.
what if it's because of me.
since i'm always so emo.
and my emo-ness is contagious.
what if the freshies don't like me because of this emo-ness.
):
i'm afraid.
yet.
anticipating.
hoping it will be a blast!.
like GL camp.
need to change.
can't have ultra changing mood swing.
mood swing is inevitable.
maybe i should bring red bull for me.
lots of them.
make me hyper during the whole camp.
making sure i don't get emo.
have someone by my side talking to me.
and not leave me alone looking around.
seeing people talking in their own groups while i look like some loner.
maybe then i won't be so emo-ed.
but i get jealous easily.
of my surroundings.
and stuff.
it seems.
i'm the only one with no bestie.
thinking bestie is only between 2.
not more then 2.
can't change that thinking.
cause when besties quarrel.
it makes me jealous to know the other have someone to seek solace.
while i retreat to a corner.
and slowly wait till when we settle our differences.
and make-up.
or just let our relationship break.
jealousy can really drag me down.
maybe that's why i don't seem to have very very very close friends.
i'm such a pessimist.
i should totally die.
terribly.
don't think i deserve to live at all.
all those negativity surrounding me.
engulfing me.
burying me.
pressing on my shoulders.
making me seem as though i can't possibly ever see light soon.
suffocating me.

--------
{beautiful lady}

12:44

ate.

--------
{beautiful lady}

02:08

feel like cutting my hair.
abit more.
cause.
it still seem weird.
maybe bald?

--------
{beautiful lady}

01:35

omg!
look at the skin tone difference of karmen's and mine's.

on the 20th Mar '07.

14th Feb '07.

--------
{beautiful lady}

3.21.2007

22:25

still unwell.
after a week.

--------
{beautiful lady}

13:35

for my CGL! YUN!!

--------
{beautiful lady}

13:33

sentosa with GLs.
buried.
dunk-ed.
piggy-backed.
pictures.
ate.
muah-chee-ed.
vivo-ed.

--------
{beautiful lady}

3.20.2007

22:56

asshole!
get a life.
i don't need you to control mine.
i know jolly well how to do so.
so.
just get out.
i'm sensible enough.
and i'm mature enough.
so.
just move on.
i ain't 5.
you ain't my dad.

--------
{beautiful lady}

3.19.2007

23:38

SL camp/fop meeting.

talked alot of games and crap.
feel much better.
GL meeting.
talked.
crapped.
played.
drew.
had fun.
being bullied.
comics.
photos.
queensway-ed.
IMM-ed.
home-ed.

--------
{beautiful lady}

23:19

people keep insisting i have a boyfriend.
i have many male friends.
as do female friends.
but i don't have a boyfriend.
i'm so sorry.
but i'm not.
i totally like it.
being single.
and free.
hate being bound.
and committed.
am totally not that kind.
i can't possibly commit.
run away at the slightest detail that irks me.
so my significant half must be perfect.
haven't even seen a single one so far.
not even half of it.
sorry male friends.
if i've offended you in any way.
but it's true.
you people ain't midori's boyfriend material.
that's why i will be a old virgin maid.

--------
{beautiful lady}

3.18.2007

23:13

GL camp.
had fun.
did many stuff.
chao chu kang cemetery night walk.
orchard road hunt.
whistle.
lying in the middle of orchard road.
duck walking.
screaming at any person that walk past us.
pool games.
land games.
whacking my brains for comments and cheers.
being bullied.
being tickled.
tested my fears.
boosted my confidence.
bonded with my group and other groups.
played.
breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper.
ran.
star-jumped.
jumping jacks.
push-ups.
burpees.
crunches.
sports.
cheering.
screaming.
being enthusiastic.
being low.
freezing rooms.
bonding.
wonderful food.
enjoying.
and BEING AN AKHA-rian.

--------
{beautiful lady}

22:35

the only man that knows me the most.
is the man i hate the most half the time.
the only man alive that knows me the most.
so true.
but yet i can't seem to not think of you at all.
cause you're too important.
the one that supports me.
the one that gives me most of my freedom now.

--------
{beautiful lady}

18:45

still unwell.

--------
{beautiful lady}

3.14.2007

14:30

unwell.

--------
{beautiful lady}

08:58

omg!
i passed.
so freaking happy.

--------
{beautiful lady}

01:27

Greed:	Low
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	High
Lust:	Medium
Pride:	Medium

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

possess all 7 deadly sins now.
-gluttony-
-lust-
-wrath-
-pride-
-greed-
-sloth-
-envy-

i will go to hell for these.
damn.
i'm sinful.

--------
{beautiful lady}

01:18

in our family portrait.
we look pretty happy.
we look pretty normal.
let's play pretend.
let's go back to that.
can we work it out.
can we be a family?
promise nothing better.
promise i'll do anything.

-that's how my family is like.-

--------
{beautiful lady}

00:51

he's so childish.

--------
{beautiful lady}

3.13.2007

01:33

went out with karmen in the morning today.
shopped alot.
walked like 50 bus-stops or more.
like omg!
so many.
tired feet.
hahahaha.
walked from somerset to dhoby ghaut.
then back to somerset.
then back to dhoby ghaut again.
shopped alot.
3 sports bra.
2 racer-back.
a pair of sandals for sammie.
karmen got 3 sports bra.
1 racer back.
ahahah.
then ice-cream-ed.
then we left town.
i went back to school to meet AKHA!!.
then they said they are gonna go back to town.
again.
i was like.
OMG!!
why didn't you say i earlier.
i could have just stayed in town and waited.
then walked alot.
from plaza singapura.
then to chinatown.
then to vivo city.
so many places.
hahahah.
stayed at vivo planning and discussing till like 10 plus plus.
saw wini.
she went sentosa with the people of foc.

at vivo city's sky garden.

darling: hope you like your sandals.

--------
{beautiful lady}

00:00

happy 1st month to karmen sammie and me!!.

--------
{beautiful lady}

3.12.2007

23:21

i'm suddenly turning selfish.
ain't thinking for her or him.
as much as before.
used to always put them in front.
never hurting their feelings.
never dreaming of even forgetting about them.
but yet.
recently.
even though i may feel as neglected as before.
it seems as though i've neglected them both.
no longer as caring or compassionate as before.
thinking only about myself.
where did the proper me go to?

--------
{beautiful lady}

01:45

to let true love remain unspoken.
is the quickest route to hurt the heart.

--------
{beautiful lady}

01:42

msn seems so quiet all of a sudden.
as if everyone is ignoring.

--------
{beautiful lady}

00:46

sometimes i wonder how it would feel like to commit suicide.
the many different ways to.
like.
jump down the overhead bridge over a fast-paced express-way.
or jump down from my room's window.
19 stories.
it would definitely kill.
slit myself in the wrist.
letting the blood drip.
banging my head against the wall.
until i lose consciousness.
until my brain is dead.
my skull cracks.
till i die.
that would be painful.
taking in rat poison.
or arsenic.
or putting my wet hand into a electrical unit.
somehow.
dying seems so much brighter.
then living.
it seems to free myself so much more.

losing the energy to continue living.

--------
{beautiful lady}

3.11.2007

22:45

listening to myself scream in this house.
alone.
who knows what will happen next.
listening to those songs.
screaming.
till i'm hoarse.
screaming.
till no sound can be heard.
the spine-chilling scream.
the piercing scream.
no one knows what is happening here.
breaking that glass cup.
picking up a piece of that shattered glass.
slowly slitting my wrist.
making many lines.
looking at the blood flow.
it comforts me.
at least i know i can feel pain.
tears still ain't coming down.
maybe i've cried too much in the past.
tears are no longer available.
bleed.
bleed.
BLEED.
hear the blood drip.
drop by drop.
till i'm all dry.
and out of blood.
when will anyone find out.
find out that i've done something so stupid.

-this may happen in the near future-

--------
{beautiful lady}

19:47

is this really me?
it seems as though i'm acting.
as though i'm putting on an act.
to please everyone.
it seems so normal to me.
to put on an act.
since i've been doing that for a very long time.
don't know when was it when it really was me.
cause people around me seems to be criticizing every single thing i do.
that i'm really myself all the time.
sometimes i wonder what really is my true personality like.
will anyone ever like that kind of me?
will i have more friends being myself or putting on a pretence?
would i be happier.
somehow.
like this or that?
does all these matter that much?
i'm so contradicting myself.
but that's me.
contradicting myself.
all the time.
that's why i don't seem to ever get anything done.
like taekwondo.
like decisions.
like every other stuff.
it just seems to bother me alot.
it depleting every single positive energy in me.
maybe i should sometimes be selfish and care only about myself.
and not every other person that is of any concern to me.
is all these worth it.
trying so hard to drain my energy.
making me look so emotional all the time.
will i really be truly happy.
smiling from within.
not only on the surface.
will i??
i don't remember a smile that makes me warm and cuddly inside for a long time.
those smiles that i've had recently only last for like a while.
dreading the time when we would leave for home.
yearning for the time when we would meet again.
it's only for these purposes that i ever get excited.
all these seem like a façade.
maybe i'll get used to it.

--------
{beautiful lady}

19:40

i feel like a slut.

--------
{beautiful lady}

3.10.2007

23:45

hungry.

--------
{beautiful lady}

12:16

peeling.
again.
damn ugly.
haix.
how?

--------
{beautiful lady}

3.09.2007

23:18

should i remain this innocent?
or become as evil as pandora's box?

--------
{beautiful lady}

23:03

Your Personality Profile

You are dignified, spiritual, and wise.
Always unsatisfied, you constantly try to better yourself.
You are also a seeker of knowledge and often buried in books.

You tend to be philosophical, looking for the big picture in life.
You dream of inner peace for yourself, your friends, and the world.
A good friend, you always give of yourself first.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.
You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.
You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.
You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

Your Birthdate: March 5

People wouldn't take you for a passionate person - and that's where they'd be wrong.
You can develop deep emotions quickly, and you're the type most likely to move in with someone after a few dates.

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 5

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 5

You are most compatible with people born on the 5th, 14th, and 23rd of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.

With respect to money, you spend whatever you have.

You think good luck doesn't exist - reality is built on practicalities.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort.

You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends.

Who's The True You?

You Are Pretty Happy

You generally have a happy, fulfilling life.
But things could be a little better, and deep down, you know it.
Maybe you need more supportive friends or a more challenging career.
Something is preventing you from being totally happy. You just need to figure out what it is!

How Happy Are You, Really?

Your Life Is Worth...

$1,013,500

How Much Is Your Life Worth?

Your Lucky Underwear Is Red

You're confident and bold, and your lucky red underwear will only make you more sure of yourself.
You have a great zest for life, and you tend to take on impossible goals - and succeed.

When it comes to love, it's hard for you to take the time to open up. You're too busy conquering the world.
So if you're looking for a little more romance, put on your red underpants. And see where their passion takes you!

What Color Is Your Lucky Underwear?

You Are a Drama Princess (or Prince)

You're not over the top dramatic, but you have your moments.
You know how to steal the spotlight...
And how to act out to get your way.

People around you know that you're good for a laugh.
But at times, your drama gets a bit too much for everyone.
Tone it down a tad, and you'll still be the center of attention.

Are You a Drama Queen (or King)?

SO TRUE!!

Your Stress Level is: 62%

You are prone to stress, and you're probably even pretty stressed right now.
Life's problems seem to pile up on you, and this often makes you feel depressed and burned out.
Learn to take time to relax and enjoy life, even if things are stressful. It's the only wa you'll get through the bad times.

How Stressed Are You?

don't think this is true.

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{beautiful lady}