11.30.2006

21:27

NEGLECTED!

--------
{beautiful lady}

11.29.2006

23:34

so damn funny.

she says im cute??

i totally am not.

hahaha.

watever.

--------
{beautiful lady}

11.28.2006

23:36

finally i saw them.
bert.
mark.
and russ.
it's like so long since we met up.
saw bert when i was at atrium.
helping my friend withdraw money.
then during training.
was running pass atrium.
then saw mark and russell.
walking down that spiral stairs.
they were like looking at the training and all.
and i was waving like some retarded kid.
they didn't see me.
until like 5 mins later.

anyway.

saw wini too.

hmmm.

finally!!!

--------
{beautiful lady}

23:25

so tired.

keep stubbing my toe.

like damn pain.

it's bleeding.

and swollen.

owie!!!!

like non-stop.

like.

once during training.

once in the bus.

once at home.

once during school.

haix.

pain pain!!

--------
{beautiful lady}

11.26.2006

22:54

trekked on saturday morning.

bbq on saturday night.

class gathering sunday.

with my injured ankle.
i still went trekking.

like some crazy woman.

see.
im sao enthusiastic.

haha.

anyway.

walked alot.

my ankle hurt like some crap yesterday.

it was like cannot even walk.

better today.

think i walk till the whole ankle is fine already.

so.

it's like.

ankle is alright.

but then muscle ache.

and my toe nail chipped off.

so it's like left and right leg hurts.

like so much.

i cannot walk properly.

--------
{beautiful lady}

22:47

THANKS MARK FOR TEACHING ME ON FRIDAY!!!.

thanks alot.

really.

--------
{beautiful lady}

11.24.2006

23:31

i fell twice today.

ankle damn pain.

damn pain.

like once during sports camp training.

then while playing 'whacko'.

then i was 'it'.

then i fell.

trying to hick someone.

cause im slow.

mentally.

so now.

my ankle is like damn ache.

then when i was hailing the cab.

i didnt notice the big stone slab behind me and i tripped over it.

so embarrassing!!!!.

cause i know my ankle is damn ache.

it's impossible to walk home.

so i just took the cab.

so anyway.

im back home.

and i don't know whether i can make it tmr.

hahahaha.

so tired.

--------
{beautiful lady}

11.23.2006

13:40

swedish meat balls!

french fries.

potato salad.
diam pie.
chicken wings.

fish and chips.

pasta.

steamed potato.

mashed potato.

ice-cream.

im missing ikea food.

im craving for ikea food.

i wanna have ikea food.

someday we should go there too.

hungry hungry.

it's like i only have simple small stuff for my daily meals now.

fun size snicker bar and ribena - breakfast.

canteen food - lunch.

instant noodles - dinner.

supper once a week at some unworldly time.

hahaha.

i feel like eating extravagant stuff.

it's like so long since i ever had that.

i remember when i was younger.

my family will always goout for dinner together.

and i miss home-cooked food.

but i cannot cook.

at all.

everything i cook comes out nasty.

damn nasty.

like inedible.

very inedible.

i should totally only stick to packet food.

and chocolate.

and ribena.

and instant noodles.

but im getting bored of it.

i want msg-free food.

like really.

REALLY REALLY!!!

--------
{beautiful lady}

13:36

what the hell is this module for???

it's like i come here and do nothing.

juz slack and entertain my attendance.

so that i won't need to re-take it next sem.

it's like damnit.

ARGH!!!

whatever.

i totally feel like skipping every lesson.

hahaha.

totally impossible.

totally totally.

sian-ed.

--------
{beautiful lady}

00:02

was talking to hidayah's about stuff.

then met a prob.

haha.

--------
{beautiful lady}

11.22.2006

22:41

declaring death.

--------
{beautiful lady}

19:57

saw this in someone's blog and took it.

it means alot.

Don't be too good I will miss you.
Don't be too caring, I might like you.
Don't be too Sweet, I might fall for you.
It's hard for me to love you when you won't love me after all...
Bottom-line : A person who makes me love him is actually a person who loves me more than I love him.

_______________x________________________x_____________

If someone comes into your life and becomes a part of you but for some reasons he couldn't stay, don't cry too much.
Just be glad that your paths crossed and; somehow he made you happy even for a while.
Bottom-line : Time will tell. If he's yours he will surely come back.

_____________x________________________x__________
Don't throw your back to love when it's already in front of you.
Don't drive it away from you because if you do, someday you'll think again why you let love fly away when it was once residing next to you.
Bottom-line : Treasure the one who loves you! It's not easy to find a person who loves you. It's always more valuable to have a sincere heart.

___________x________________________x_____________
The greatest regrets in our lives are the risks we did not take.
If you think something will make you. happy, GO FOR IT.
Remember that we pass this way only once.
Bottom-line : Time doesn't wait. If you think you might have found the right one, treasure the person, don't let that person get away. Don't let fear hold You back. Give it a try else you might regret later... "No one other than ourselves know what can truly make us happy."

________________x________________________x_____________
Two tear drops were floating down the river.
One teardrop said to the other, "I'm the teardrop of a girl who loved a man and lost him. Who are you?"
"I'm the teardrop of the man who regrets letting a girl go"
Bottom-line : Nobody will sympathize with a person who constantly lets chances pass by without making any efforts to salvage them. We normally don't realize how important our loved and close ones are until they leave us, and then we start regretting, which results in misery. Lost time is NEVER gained again .

--------
{beautiful lady}

11.21.2006

21:52

it's like so sad.

i hardly ever see our family people.

it sucks man.

big time.

anyways.

saw eugene today.

when i was out with them.

he suddenly called out to me.

like suddenly.

turned around to see his whole family staring at me like im some extinct animal.

so i replied HI in my normal usual loud way.

and BYE in the same way too.

his whole family was like laughing at me like im some comedian.

HAHHAHAA!!!

--------
{beautiful lady}

11.20.2006

23:22

was chatting with hidayah.

hahaha.

then we were crapping.

(u need to click on the image to see everything.)

--------
{beautiful lady}

22:09

ate alot today.

glutton me!!!

like a sandwich.

lagsana. (with extra cheese!!!)

fried rice.

big glass of milo.

an apple.

one cup of ice-cream.

it's like alot!!!.

omg.

im like getting damn fat.

--------
{beautiful lady}

11.18.2006

23:00

got elbowed yesterday.

now i have a bruise on my chin.

SOB!!! (tear)

--------
{beautiful lady}

00:29

like do nothing much today.

sleep alot.

today's class is damn slack.

met up with joyce, ginni and esmond.

then we went for the sport's camp thing.

it's like every friday.

how??

ob is like on friday.

how am i suppossed to split myself into three.

there is also tkd after that.

someone.

help me.

i feel like quitting tkd.

but i want to see how long i can last.

i don't really know.

it's like i have no choice and no control over my own decisions.

--------
{beautiful lady}

11.16.2006

00:04

i like wrote a very long blog yesterday.

like a second part.

but then my com hang-ed on me.

so it was like.

damnit.

anyway.

school is still boring.

like bleahs.

i can even fall asleep during lab.

like.

i just rest my head on someone's back.

and i fell asleep.

while standing.

the lecturer was like explaining.

and then i slept.

so.

AEL is like funny.

the lecturer is like teach lecture story-tell lecture catch ppeople sleeping invent new idea lecture break catch people sleeping lecture teach lecture.

etc.

this continued for 2 hours.

just like that.

then eg2.

slept again.

then peiyi didn't have anyone to talk to.

and then there was a activity that you have to do with a partner.

looking at me sleep.

she just walk away and find a partner.

hhaha.

then lunch.

lunch.

2 hours.

saw michael when a partof my class was slacking at 51.

i was like didnt even notice him.

until when like me and peiyi was like going to co-op.

i turned around and saw samuel.

then michael is normally around samuel.

hahaa.

ya.

so like that la.

we went co-op and bought like 2 big chocolate bottles things.

7 plus.

bankrupt.

mtprac is like damn boring.

just sleep through 2 hours every week.

don't even see the need to be there.

i just go there and sleep.

then tutorial.

then home.

like routine everyweek.

hidayah is like missing.

she said to wait.

but then she didnt even answer the phone or anything.

or even respond to me on msn.

like.

HIDAYAH!!!

WHERE R U!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

i cannot contact you.

what about tomorrow.??

im calling your phone now.

but you keep rejecting!!!.

why???

--------
{beautiful lady}

11.14.2006

19:12

today is a very long day.

i did a wonderful thing today.

i didn't sleep in ENGMECH.

it's like ever since sem started.

i slept in all his classes.

but every class is like 2 hours.

and i will not pay attention.

i will just sleep for the whole 2 hours.

until yesterday.

quiz.

i didnt know how to do a single question.

i handed in a blank paper.

like only with my name on it.

so.

i must buck up.

cannot sleep.

anyway.

when school ended.

peiyi and me went to like the co-op.

and the library.

we waited damn long for the waffles to be done.

like 20 minutes or so.

then when we were walking to the bus-stop.

i saw grandpa and grandma.

at the atm.

it was like.

thye were walking to the bus-stop too.

so noisy can.

both of them.

it's like when they keep mentioning mark's name.

i turned around and saw mark walking with them.

so surprising.!!!!

i was like.

MARK!!!!

grandpa and grandma laughed at me cause i shouted out mark's name in such a high pitched tone.

haha.

yayya.

i think that's all.

it's like 6 plus.

it's not the end of the day.

i think im naggy.

haha.

--------
{beautiful lady}

11.13.2006

19:57

totally didn't blog for like so many days.

was so tired.

and so sadden these few days.

so it's like no mood.

many things happened.

i think he has got many faces.

being nice and friendly sometimes.

and evil and assholic sometimes.

i really don't know what is on his mind.

i think the 'tao' face look runs in the family.

people always say i look damn unfriendly and pissed off when im not smiling.

he and she also have this problem too.

i really don't know what is going through their minds when they come home everyday.

so.

did like so many stuff over the weekend.

saturday morning.

met angelia, hafiz, yew ming and farand.

supposed to walk in MacRitchie and then back to school.

took us like 3 hours.

i was like so bored.

i started to self-entertain myself.

with a whole load of crap.

got lost in the jungle.

then suddenly.

thunderstorm.

we were like still caught in the rain.

we were like all soaked.

everywhere we go, there was swamps.

and puddles.

and muddy muddy stuff.

thorns and hooks.

and trunks that collapse if you step on them.

i got like many many many many cuts.

i got whipped by one branch in the face.

got cut by the thorns in my hands and face and legs.

we walked like more then 10km.

so tired.

our shoes were like damn dirty.

like.

mud and soil and dirt.

and many many stuff.

branches, etc.

there's like so many details.

and i can't remember at all.

trying very hard.

forget it.

--------
{beautiful lady}

11.11.2006

00:28

he is such a bastard.

i am so useless.

why can't i just say no to anyone.

i really am very useless.

i should just take charge of my life.

but im afraid.

im afraid that i will regret.

what if i fail.

and i let myself wither till i die.

with no one to help me and pick me up.

or even force me to stand up on my own.

it's not very easy.

speaking and doing is like worlds apart.

i don't even know what i should be doing.

maybe i should just continue n swallowing all these.

ya.

maybe.

im not sure.

i dunno.

--------
{beautiful lady}

11.10.2006

00:34

went out with the family today.
for dinner.
i ended class like 2.20.
so i juz went to the library to meet wini and shi hui.
then i borrowed a book.
so i finished like half or the book while waiting for them.
hahah.
so waited in e library with russell till 5.
5!!! and i ended school like 2 plus.
met them at atrium and waited for the two old folks to come down slowly from block 52.

it's like so long since we went out together.

we should make it a must.

--------
{beautiful lady}

00:08

cold day again.

my hands and feet is like damn cold.

like freeze freeze.

didnt eat much again.

it's like i should totally eat more.

i keep telling myself that but food seems to be getting of no meaning to me.

but im like so hungry.

getting gastric more often now.

maybe soon.

i'll die.

hahaha.

i wonder why am i like that.

i should totally just force myself and gorge myself.

--------
{beautiful lady}

11.08.2006

21:49

omg.

talked to my grandmother for like almost 2 hrs.

crazy la.

den halfway through bert joined in.

and talked to us for 15 mins.

but had to leave to do his project.

i feel so slack next to him.

like my course is some slacker course.

hahaha.

but then.

anyway.

we were talking about what to do tomorrow.

where to eat.

watever.

then we kept going far away from our topic.

damn far.

--------
{beautiful lady}

19:50

pple keep saying my head is hollow.

it's not right.

i know.

because i think im filled with knowledge.

--------
{beautiful lady}

00:04

i've decided to forget you and move on.

because i know that it's better for you if you don't know that i like you.

and because i know that you won't like me.

that's why.

i won't want to spoil the relationship between us and our friends.

it's easier if only one of us hurts.

rather then two.

cause it won't be that tough.

im trying hard.

but im afraid.

what if you haven realised it.

what if i regret it.

im not very firm.

i noe.

--------
{beautiful lady}

11.06.2006

20:10

is sick today.

but still went out.

like very long.

all day long.

i end class like 11 plus.

den came home at 7 45.

she's asleep already.

so there wasnt nagging.

and he wasn't home.

so i didn't get any scolding again.

then it's like.

we went stc first.

get my cert and yearbook.

saw many many teachers.

many.

then we went vivo city.

i've been there so many times already.

but there's so many shops.

i want that sweater.

i saw a pretty sweater.

but wini said it's ugly.

so.

im still searching for one.

one that is neutral coloured.

so that people won't keep saying i only have bright coloured stuff.

but bright colours are pretty.

do you know??

anyway.

spent money like water today.

20 on sushi tei.

3 on earrings.

and 10 on cab.

bankrupt.

took out 30 bucks.

now my wallet is like empty empty.

1 dollar left.

cannot even have lunch.

not even juice.

i should totally not go out at all.

if i wanna go shopping.

i want to go shopping.

anyway.

we shopped with wini.

and guess who we saw!!!!!!

jiajia and yubin.

they were trying out dresses.

and then.

we just walked around.

until like 4.30.

cos wini had to rush back to school and attend a meeting.

i waited for wini to end her meeting.

and i fell asleep.

cos im like damn tired and damn sick.

but i just kept her company.

cos she was free and had nothing to do for like 8 hrs.

so i accompanined her.

till her lesson started.

walked her to her class.

then met e noisy people at the bus stop.

and then so i took the same bus as them.

since i didn't want to go home so early.

so took bus to bukit batok.

then 189-ed home.

so tired.

but i have like so many stuff to do.

--------
{beautiful lady}

20:03

i don't think i will love you the way you want me to.

because i am not good enough for you.

i know that.

that's why i cannot drag you down.

--------
{beautiful lady}

11.05.2006

19:46

i am so useless.

all i can only do is cry and cry and cry.

why??

i can't even go against him or her.

why??

i must totally just strengthen myself mentally and physically.

i am so weak.

why??

im asking myself all these.

i should just forget about living and concentrate on being happy.

i shouldn't be so unhappy.

i should just stop living so unhappily.

n listen only to them.

i shouldn't.

--------
{beautiful lady}

11:18

i need my sleep.

i dun want to go for sunday trainings anymore.

it's taking too much of a toil on me.

i want to stop.

but he won't allow.

why can't i make my own choices.

why must you decide my life for me.

i really don't like it at all.

it's pissing me off.

i really don't like it.

how many times must i tell you people.

then will you people will really know that i mean what i say.

really.

stop it.

can't you.

listen to me at least one.

why won't you people do that.

--------
{beautiful lady}

01:05

yesterday.

lunch at 11 to 2.

wat was i supposed to do??

so i met e noisy pple for lunch.

n they forced me to eat again.

although i was hungry, i didnt have any mood to eat at all.

dunno y.

but anyway i ate something in e end.

so e noisy pple's lunch is from 11 to 12.

so aft their lunch.

i had to wait for my mum, my rival n her daughter for lunch.

n aso my daughter n my ex-husband.

i have a damn complicated family. i give up.

but since i didnt wan to wait alone in canteen 1.

i crashed hid's class.

den i realised.

how was i supposed to leave when wini reaches sch.

so, when wini came.

i juz walked out.

leaving my barang barangs all with e noisy pple.

but e family couldnt make it at all.

making me all sad n alone.

meeting only my daughter.

den when wini left for her class at 1.

i was met someone else instead.

shi-hui n jason.

hahaha.

n den mark called me.

asking me whether i've had lunch yet.

i noe i have a long break.

i dun really like it.

it's damn boring.

ahahahhaha.

so.

anyway, mark hadnt had lunch yet.

poor thing right.

n i already had lunch wif hid.

n a drink wif wini.

so i was like wat am i supposed to do when im wif u.

he said; dessert.

n i was like.

r u crazy, im fat. cannot. cannot.

hahhaa.

so.

i abandoned mark.

n continued hanging ard sch wif shi hui n jason.

i threw half of my barang barang wif jason.

it's damn heavy.

den we bbt.

den they wlked me to blk 51.

cos it was nearing 2.

n so.

we sat on e tables n chatted waiting for class to start.

which is very funny.

i crapped.

n i tried jason's tofu.

hahah.

i think i have too much of men's tofus.

ahhaha.

jason's tighs is too tough.

not my type.

so far.

only a few is to my liking.

so anyway.

aft my workshop.

met up wif wini n e rest.

like kelvin, rongchang, jason, wini n shi hui.

like library level 5.

we talked crap n i found out jason has got nice arms.

nice feelings.

shit.

i should control myself.

MIDORI!!!!

stop craving for men's tofus.

hahha.

so den we went for ob.

we ran like 5 km.

which is crazy.

den aft tt i didnt even rest.

n i proceeded to tkd.

so damn tired.

my back was like aching like wat shit.

totally.

pain!!!!

i noe.

my fridays r full.

very very full.

packed from 7.30 in e morning to 10 at nite.

--------
{beautiful lady}

00:13

hey HIDAYAH darling!!!

knowing that you read my blog.

this is for you specially!!!!

ps: this is in your favourite colour.

see im so nice.

--------
{beautiful lady}

11.04.2006

21:12

if you know that i love you.

will you love me too??

will u avoid me??

or will u just pretend that im joking??

and then forget about it tmr.

i dunno.

im afraid.

that's why i never really dared to say anything.

--------
{beautiful lady}

21:03

it may just be a helping hand.

but it takes alot for someone to help.

many doesnt understand tis.

tt although many say tt they will be there when you need them.

but most of time when you really need them.

they actually are not really there.

they actually are juz saying.

im losing trust.

in many people.

in like many many people.

they actually say tt they will be there for me when i need help.

but when i contact them.

it's really impossible.

they juz cannot be there.

--------
{beautiful lady}

11.03.2006

11:54

really cannot stand it when they quarrel.
i think they can nvr communicate at all.
i dun really noe wat they want.
they jux make me suffer once they quarrel.
like wat.
i dunno when i can hold on too.
but i think it's soon.
like very soon.
cos i noe it myself.
like im slowly breaking down.
like im slowly crumbling.
like im slowly seeing myself drop n fall.
i really dunno wat i should do about them.
it's so confusing.
it's so tough.
adults can nvr be understood.
can someone give me a book to handle all these.
or tell me wat to do about them.
please.

--------
{beautiful lady}

11.02.2006

19:19

Your Extroversion Profile:

Friendliness: Very High

Cheerfulness: High

Excitement Seeking: High

Activity Level: Medium

Assertiveness: Medium

Sociability: Medium

How Extroverted Are You?

--------
{beautiful lady}

18:28

i forgot wat i wanted to blog.

--------
{beautiful lady}

00:50

the pple in my class are evil.

once they knew tt im afraid of thunder.

they keep trying to scare me.

like when we turn corners.

they try to scare me when im not aware.

and i will scream my guts out.

or like suddenly behind my ear or something.

which is like....

--------
{beautiful lady}

11.01.2006

18:05

e rain is like so damn heavy today.

anyways.

i don't like to bring an umbrella around.

and e walk home from the bus-stop is like so far.

so i had to walk home in the rain.

then i got super-DRENCHED.

like wet.

inside out.

--------
{beautiful lady}