10.31.2006

17:22

i was walking towards the bus-stop in school today.

and guess wat happened??!!!

i fell into the drain!!!!.

it was so malu-ating.

luckily it was rather quiet and there wasn't alot of pple walking tt path.

or else...

--------
{beautiful lady}

00:31

taken from my fren's blog.

tis made me think too.

my feelings are somewhat like her's.

except love really makes us do stupid stuff.

makes us forget to think logically.

"someone asked me about love.what is it like to fall in love?

how do you know you fall for anyone or not?

what is love?

hahas.

like how would i know?

but it sets me pondering..

i guess to me..

love is silly, stupid & dumb.love is full of complications.

love is unpredictable.however, love is worthy of all these.
some knew it once it came..

some took all the time in the world to realise they're in love.
the process is never easy..

yet people are willing to go thru all these to get an unpredictable result.

be it good, or bad.

that's love.that's life.:)"

but i wonder is love really worth it all.??

--------
{beautiful lady}

00:13

will i really be able to see myself smiling truely.

and not because of the jokes you make.

i really want to be happy.

i cant stand being sad and everything.

it's a terrible feeling.

really.

i hope i can last for a longer time.

hope tt i wont stay negative long.

--------
{beautiful lady}

10.30.2006

14:33

met wif part of e family today.

and meena, pink and hidayah came too.

we met for lunch.

i ended class like 10.45.

met dads at 11.

waited for everyone to break.

which was ard 12.

so juz sat at canteen 1 wif dads.

den step-daughter came.

den e noisy ones came.

den my mom.

my daughter didnt come in e end.

but she came out during her class to chat chat.

but den step-mom didnt come.

she was busy with a project.

but den we still had fun.

i love all of them.

so fun.

den had to leave early.

cos she needed me to do something at home.

or else i could have stayed longer.

hahahahha.

--------
{beautiful lady}

10.27.2006

23:52

i think i should just be happy with wat i have.

i can't ask for much.

i should just psycho myself to accept her thinking.

so tt maybe she will let me go slowly.

maybe she loves me too much.

she just can't handle the fact tt maybe i can mature.

i can grow up.

or something.

i should just close myself in like in secondary school.

n den i wont be close to other people.

no cliques.

or so watever.

maybe like tt i will be happier.

maybe like tt i can be freed faster.

im not sure.

i really dunno how to understand her.

she makes me so confused.

with all her petty-ish and childish antics.

--------
{beautiful lady}

10.26.2006

22:06

maybe my mentality will not be able to handle all these pressure she is giving me.

im like so pressured.

i can't even sit down properly to have a proper meal.

it's like i've nvr had a proper meal ( which include veggie n meat n rice) not instant noodles.

she dun even bother abt wat we are eating.

y dun you juz eat instant noodles everyday for a few yrs.

she juz keep gng out wif her frens.

and neglect me.

while he juz aso get his own food and neglect me too.

den i care about them so much.

calling them and asking tem whether they will be home and whether they need me to buy them dinner or lunch.

watever la.

im too kind.

watever.

i trying hard not to give up on you people.

you people make me think tt family are only their for monetary terms.

and not because of e bonds between us.

i doubt whether we have any bonds except for money.

you people dun even understand wat i want.

wat i like.

you people keep giving such bad comments on wat i like.

keep on insulting all my stuff.

juz like tt.

i've tried so hard.

to live as long as possible.

i don't even noe how long i can last under all these crazy stuff you people are bringing me down with.

i can't stand all these accusations you people are adding on me.

--------
{beautiful lady}

10.25.2006

23:55

just kill me.

just let me die.

wither down here.

alone.

cold.

dead.

--------
{beautiful lady}

23:43

i feel like getting a tattoo.

but i think my mama will kill me.

tattoo on my lower back.

maybe something once i see it.

--------
{beautiful lady}

23:40

omg.

haven blogged like forever.

my notebook like went bonkers on me.

cannot enter this page.

that page.

watever.

then i tried another link.

and i got in!!.

yeahs!!

YEAHS!!

hahaha.

--------
{beautiful lady}

10.01.2006

23:53

bruises everwhere.

haix.

pain.

how??

im still craving for ice-cream.

but i have got no energy to chant ice-cream now.

how??

no sugar rush.

no hyperactivity.

no energy.

--------
{beautiful lady}