12.26.2005

22:58

they read my stuff.
they touch my stuff.
they scold me for e stuff tt i do tt i see them do before.
they juz think abt themself n nvr seek other pple's opinion.
they nvr think abt how i feel.
y do such pple exists.
y do i have to be linked to these pple.
life is terrible.

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{beautiful lady}

12.21.2005

17:34

found a job. at my mum's n bro's office.
data typing.
all day long in e office.
will i be bored.?
hmmmm..
i think i will die very fast.
stuck all day seeing my bro n mum.
think i will be pissed.
life is starting to get dull.
duller n duller it gets.
means i will not be as free as now.
sitting all day at home n letting me myself rot n decompose.
i think it is better.
den i will not let my thoughts run wild.
i keep thinking pple r planning evil stuff.
will i get 'jing shen fen lie zhen'

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{beautiful lady}

12.14.2005

19:26

i went out wif ber n san today.
we went cycling.
i fell alot.
couldn't brake at all.
dun noe how to.
ber fell terribly.
n screamed like crazy.

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{beautiful lady}

12.13.2005

23:42

u said tt we will remain in contact aft o's.
but i nvr seen a single one of them since e 29th
i miss everyone.
i miss e hugs.
e pple running away.
e fun i had chasing aft them.
e fun of having ball games n not having lessons.
e fun where we talk crap like nobody's business.
e fun where we echo each other.
e stomach cramps i had from doing all e crappy stuff.
e pple whom i used to see every single day.
n now missing so dearly.
u told me not to cry over such stuff cos we will surely meet each other one day.
but its only been 2 weeks. but u get to see pple from our class.
i didn't get e chance. no one live so near me.
e nearest one live at bukit timah.
tt is so far away.
i wan to see e class.
but pple r restricting my movements.
i get restrictions for doing anything.
i've so far been stuck at home.
with my dear beloved relatives who visit n have fun wif me as much as they can.
i love u bernice n sandra.
u pple r such dearies.
but can u pls accept my token of appreciation through e form of a hug.
PRETTY PLS.

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{beautiful lady}

12.10.2005

02:34

i wan to sleep.
but not able to fall asleep.
ber n san r staying over at my house.
blog-surfing now.
added some links.
made some changes to my blog.
it nicer then e previous one i think.
yesterday was a crazy day.
woke up at 730 am
met ber at 930am
went to creative fest.
but overshot e stop.
so walked from JE library to e creative building.
wanted to hail cab, but not a single one stopped, so pathetic.
den went mum mum at JE.
went bowling, n got a lot of gutters,so tui lian.
but nvr mind, for i am midori, i am strong.
i wan to dye my hair.
my mama dun allow.
ra-ed at me ovr e phone.
say u wan to become xiao fei nu.
she say i still young cannot dye.
guess wat color i wan to dye.
tell me e answer n i give u *prize prize*
contact me k.

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{beautiful lady}

00:37

today is a tiring day.
so not going to type.
fill in tmr.

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{beautiful lady}

12.08.2005

23:59

she is still raing at me. even though she say she is not feeling well
y cant she juz stay in bed when she is not feeling well.
y muz she still give me e face n scold me n ra at me.
she should juz stay in bed if she is sick.
i wan to leave.
i did everything tt u asked me to do.
y cant i close e door.

if i wan to, y muz u force me to keep it open,

i will feel weird,

i will be distracted,

i will not be able to pay attention to wat i'm doing,

i dun like to leave my door open,

it makes me feel uncomfortable,

it makes me feel watched,

it doesnt seem like i am doing illegal stuff

, i'm also not like fucking wif pple inside,

i'm also not like fucking myself,

y can u leave ur door closed,

while i cant.
it is unfair.

y is life always so unfair.
y cant i be able to have everything while other pple can.

--------
{beautiful lady}

23:59

forgot tt my bro left for beijing yest.
woke up thinking he was still in singapore n walked ard looking for his stuff.
first went to his room, saw tt there was no dirty clothes n thought tt he changed n cleared his own dirty laundry.
den went to e front door, rmbered finally tt he was in beijing aft seeing e newspapers still on e table cos he always take them in e morning.
she is still raing at me. even though she say she is not feeling well
y cant she juz stay in bed when she is not feeling well.
y muz she still give me e face n scold me n ra at me.
she should juz stay in bed if she is sick.
i wan to leave.
i did everything tt u asked me to do.
y cant i close e door if i wan to, y muz u force me to keep it open, i will feel weird, i will be distracted, i will not be able to pay attention to wat i'm doing, i dun like to leave my door open, it makes me feel uncomfortable, it makes me feel watched, it doesnt seem like i am doing illegal stuff , i'm also not like fucking wif pple inside, i'm also not like fucking myself, y can u leave ur door closed, while i cant.
it is unfair.
y is life always so unfair.
y cant i be able to have everything while other pple can.

--------
{beautiful lady}

18:54

hahaha. helllllo. helllllo. im mad. im crazy. hahahhaa

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{beautiful lady}

12.06.2005

21:55

u said i can go anywhere aft my exams end.
but my exams is already over n i haven been out once.
i cannot go out if bernice
i cannot go out wif my frens
i cannot go anywhere
exams has been over for 3 weeks
n i've only been out thrice
u say not to break promises but u kept breaking e promises u made to me
how can u set an example to me if u arent doing it properly
u are nvr a good example to me
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
WHY CANT I GO OUT

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{beautiful lady}

12.05.2005

22:29

today went to interview at sembawang music(west mall) dun think i can get e job, den went to meet bernice n we went kai kai'ing at causeway point. although both of us were sick we still ate harmful stuff, like ice-cream waffles n grilled chicken. we were asked to ban from it so we ate it secretly n promised not to tell e adults. den when ber n i were going into e lift we 'boo'ed but there was no one so we went in while e door was opening we did it again den we walked outlaughing n e pple thought we were some crazy pple n kept staring at us.we went into john little where e adults n my bro n sandra was witing for us den i saw a red tie n said u wear it on christmas day with a bright green shirt den e little children will come up to him n ask shu shu, wo yao chi candy!' den all of us started to haha very loudly in e middle of nowhere.

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{beautiful lady}

22:22

y muz u ra everyday whenever u come home?
how many times a day muz u scream at us before u sleep soundly at nite?
y muz u pull a black face ever single day whenever u see us?
y cant u just show us a smile just one single day?
y cant u just be happy?
u r nvr happy ard me so y muz i be so ard u?
u only am happy ard ur frens, u make me feel like u r such a hypocritical person.

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{beautiful lady}

12.03.2005

19:38

How could u just let him bully n manipulate me like tt.

How could u let him do all tis stuff to me without saying a thing.

How could u juz not scream like how u do to me whenever he scolds me.

wat kind of a mother r u when u juz sit there watching him do all tt.
y cant u juz accept tt i am old enough to care for myself n juz stop taking me as a 5 yr old.

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{beautiful lady}

12.02.2005

23:03

red camp 2 is finally over.

i reached there like 735am today.

crazy rite not even a single ambassadors was there.

den play like crazy n my name got picked n was supposed to dance n pick e best one.

i won e consolation prize.

jenga extreme.

n den i screamed till my sore throat got even worse.

now my ma is screaming at me cause i wan to go out wif bernice.

den she picking at everything i do.
its like 2 more months to CNY but she buy e clothes already.

den i dun like. so i say y so eeeeeeee.
den she RA at me more.

y is adults liddat all e time
make me feel disgusted.

y are all adults e same. they juz think they noe us best,

they critisied everything tt i do ,

y can't they juz look at it from a different view,

i accept their music,

but do they accept our choice of music n our fashion sense,

can't they compromise or r they juz being tyrannical.

tis life is getting totally outrageous.

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{beautiful lady}